Death, grief and the aftermath of war casualties
WAR SPECIAL EDITION
With war comes death. And with war deaths come grief and agonizing questions about why, how and what now? For family members and for a nation, faith, belief and ritual can play critical roles. ReligionLink offers a multitude of resources to help reporters write about casualties, their effect on families and the public, and the many questions related to how clergy, religious groups and the military help in the aftermath.
Most grief is private and personal, but war deaths have a very public dimension. That raises issues for families, as well as Americans at large. Public acknowledgment of the deaths and of the importance of the victims’ lives can help loved ones’ healing. Experts say that all Americans can feel grief and anxiety over the losses and stresses of war and that forms of public grieving – whether they are local observances, televised services or makeshift memorials – can help people sort out what they are feeling.
But grieving deaths in the war with Iraq presents challenges, experts say, because not everyone agrees that the war is just. As the number of deaths increases, other issues arise. On one hand, people’s ability to empathize can be overloaded and they can begin to feel like detached spectators. If there are so many deaths that it is difficult to convey a sense of each victim’s individuality, some victims may be singled out as symbols of the fallen soldiers. And finally, the deaths may become political symbols if opinions about the war become more deeply divided.
Here are issues and expert interview sources across the country.
Issues
• One trend in worship and secular observances has been a return of the importance of ritual, particularly for young people. In what rituals – either sacred or secular – do grieving people find meaning? Are the rituals time-tested ones of the past, or are new rituals emerging?
• Many of the meaningful ways that war dead have been remembered – memorials, flag-draped coffins – are secular. Yet this war has had religious dimensions, and the United States is a religiously diverse country. In what ways are people finding comfort in their faith? In what ways do people of different faiths honor their dead? Are people put off or offended by certain public expressions of grief?
• Grief plays out at several levels, from the very private to the very public. Religion sociologist Nancy Ammerman suggests that reporters examine how a family grieves a war death privately, how a congregation grieves with them, and then how the larger public community honors a death, and the ways faith is woven into all three.
• As Good Friday and Easter approach, reporters can explore themes of death and grieving as they relate to war and the Christian holidays.
National sources
• The Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors is a national support group for those who have lost a loved one in the line of military duty. Contact founder and president Bonnie Carroll, 800-959-8277.
• The Hospice Foundation of America is conducting a national teleconference on April 30 about “Living with Grief: Coping with Public Tragedy,” with many broadcast sites that will feature their own panels of local experts. Find a site near you.
• Dr. Nancy Ammerman is a religion sociologist at the Hartford Institute for Religion Research in Connecticut. She says individual families will likely grieve in private, surrounded by supportive communities, but that communities will have a more difficult time deciding on shared public expressions of grief because of divided opinions about the war. Contact 860-509-9545, nta@hartsem.edu.
• Donna Schuurman is the executive director of The Dougy Center, a national center for grieving children and families in Portland, Ore. She is also former president of the Association for Death Education and Counseling. She can discuss the special needs of grieving children, including those mourning a casualty of war. Contact 503-775-5683, donna@dougy.org.
• Kathleen Gilbert is an associate professor of applied health science at Indiana University and a leading expert on grief and on the effect of trauma on families. She can discuss the long-term effects of war on families, the trauma facing battle combatants and their families, and the grief and anger clergy and others may feel at losing people in a conflict they oppose. Contact 812-855-5209, gilbertk@indiana.edu.
• Adem Carroll is the 9/11 crisis relief program coordinator for the Islamic Circle of North America in Jamaica, N.Y. He connect reporters with imams who can discuss the Islamic response to grief and grieving war casualties. Contact 718-658-7028, 917-602-4450 (cell) or Iamourhaj@aol.com.
• The Rev. Jackson Day is executive director of the National Conference of Viet Nam Veteran Ministers. The site lists contact information for veteran ministers across the country. Contact 508-222-7313, jacksonday@home.com.
Congregations and clergy always offer important support when a family experiences a death, but deaths in war – particularly a war that many churches have opposed – raise complex issues. Here are issues to examine and resources:
Issues
• The vast majority of religious denominations took official stands opposing war in Iraq, sometimes quite vehemently. Talk to churches about how they minister to military families – particularly when war claims a member – while still expressing opposition to the war. Talk to families about how they feel supported in denominations in which leaders have spoken out against the war.
• Many churches embrace patriotism during war by displaying flags and singing patriotic songs. Talk to these churches about how they balance focusing on God while also supporting country.
• How are congregations of all faiths supporting military families? In what ways is that support different than in past conflicts?
Background
• FaithandValues.com maintains an alphabetical listing of denominations and their official statements on the war with Iraq.
• The Pew Forum on Religion and Public Life has a list of statements made by denominations about the war.
• The Kentucky Council of Churches, an organization of 11 Christian denominations, has complied a list of resources for pastors and churches dealing with war issues, including ministering to the grieving.
The military plays a critical role for families when there are war deaths, from notifying and supporting them to transporting bodies home and facilitating burial. Religious services are left to families, but military chaplains – trained to minister to all faiths – are available to help. Here is a list of resources:
Here are the most current general religious preferences of service members in the U.S. armed forces, according to the Department of Defense Manpower Data Center. U.S. officials say numbers vary slightly from month to month because people complete military service and leave the system.
|
Army
|
Air Force
|
Navy/Marines
|
|
|
Protestant
|
194,594
|
152,226
|
226,442
|
|
Catholic
|
99,666
|
85,657
|
128,305
|
|
Muslim
|
1,988
|
760
|
1,410
|
|
Jewish
|
1,413
|
1,027
|
1,548
|
|
Orthodox
|
397
|
587
|
506
|
|
Buddhist
|
885
|
541
|
1,093
|
|
Hindu
|
158
|
115
|
164
|
|
Other
|
50,754
|
7,547
|
3,455
|
|
No stated preference
|
120,471
|
102,104
|
131,551
|
• Read about military honors funerals, including links for filing paperwork, burial flags and other resources for families and funeral directors.
• Consult the Department of the Navy Naval Historical Center’s guide to Navy burial at sea.
• The National Cemetery Administration lists more than 30 religious insignias available for the headstones of soldiers of different beliefs.
• The Society of Military Widows maintains chapters in most states and works to support the widows of war dead.
Military chaplaincy resources
• The Military Chaplains’ Association of the United States of America serves as the professional organization for chaplains of the Army, Navy, Air Force, Department of Veterans Affairs and Civil Air Patrol and includes members of all faith groups. Contact 703-276-2189 or chaplains@mca-usa.org.
• The Virginia-based American Muslim Armed Forces and Veterans Affairs Council serves Muslim military personnel and veterans. Contact info@amafandvac.org.
• The National Conference on Ministry to the Armed Forces is a Virginia-based organization that recruits, endorses and provides oversight for chaplains in all branches of the military. Contact 703-276-7905 or jack@ncmaf.org.
• U.S. Army Chaplain Center and School.
• U.S. Air Force Chaplain Service.
• United States Navy Chaplain Corps.
• U.S. Marine Corps Chief Chaplain.
Burial and funerals are complicated in America because of the wide array of faiths people follow and the sometimes strict rites required by them. Here are some questions to examine and resources:
• Some faiths, including Judaism and Islam, require that bodies be buried within a short time frame – a difficult requirement during wartime.
• See the faith makeup of the U.S. Armed Forces.
• American families frequently include members of more than one faith, and extended family and friends almost always do. Opinions differ on whether funerals should be catered toward the faith of the deceased, the faith of family members, or both if they are different, and whether it is most important to comfort the grieving with one faith’s tenets or whether they should attempt to be inclusive of the many kinds of faith the people attending may follow.
• Gary Laderman is a professor of American religious history in the religion department at Emory University in Atlanta. He is the author of the book The Sacred Remains: American Attitudes Toward Death, 1799-1883 (Yale University Press, 1996) and Rest in Peace: A Cultural History of Death and the Funeral Home in 20th Century America (Oxford University Press, 2003). He says that if this war is short, it is unlikely there will be the kind of politicization of the dead that occurred in the Vietnam War. But if the war is lengthy, and the toll mounts, the deaths could become a point of contestation with the public. He can also address the role that religion in funeral services plays in helping people heal. Contact 404-727-4641, gladerm@emory.edu.
• The Archdiocese of Chicago presents a guide to Catholic funeral practices.
• This guide to the Catholic burial service is compiled by six Catholic communities in southern Washington state.
• Protestant burial customs differ widely because of the great diversity of faith and practice among churches. Read a broad guide to Protestant and other funerals at the web site of a monument maker.
• For information on the complex funeral rites and requirements for Muslims, search for “Rules About Burial of the Dead Body” and “Rules Related to a Dying Person.”
• Read a description of Jewish death and funeral customs from the United Jewish Communities.
• The Jewish Funeral Directors of America maintain a state-by-state listing of Jewish funeral homes.
• The elements of Orthodox Christian burial are explained by the Holy Trinity Cathedral in San Francisco here.
• See detailed guides to Tibetan, Thai, and Chinese Buddhist funeral traditions and rituals at Buddhanet.Net Buddhist Information and Education Network.
Private and public grief
• Dana G. Cable, a professor of psychology and thanatology at Hood College in Maryland, has written about public grief and cultural differences in grieving in America. Contact 301-696-3758, cable@hood.edu.
• Sylvia Barack Fishman is a sociologist at Brandeis University in Massachusetts who writes about contemporary Jewish life. Contact 781-736-2065, fishman@brandeis.edu.
• Dr. Eleftheria “Effie” Sidiropoulou is the executive director of the Boston Christian Counseling Center and can address Christian grief counseling for the families of soldiers killed in battle. Contact 617-523-1543, elef2@aol.com.
• Dr. Gary Alan Anderson is a professor and assistant director of the Center for the Study of World Religion at Harvard University in Cambridge, Mass., and has written about grief and religious fundamentalism. Contact 617-495-1724, 617-496 8508, gary_anderson@harvard.edu.
• Lucy Bregman, a professor of religion at Temple University who has taught courses on death and dying for 20 years, wrote Beyond Silence and Denial: Death and Dying Reconsidered (Westminster John Knox Press, 1999). It says that the traditional Christian understanding of death has been downplayed in contemporary American culture and its power underestimated. Contact 215-204-1746, bregman@temple.edu.
• Gordon Thornton, a psychology professor at Indiana University of Pennsylvania, specializes in death, dying and bereavement. He says that public acknowledgment of war deaths is important for families but that each individual grieves differently, and privately, and finds comfort in different ways. Contact 724-357-2447, thornton@grove.iup.edu.
• LaVone Hazell is a bereavement specialist and educator in New York City who has worked with 9/11 victims, federal disaster response teams, clergy and funeral directors. Contact 212-423-1741.
• Fred W. Clothey teaches courses on ritual and religion at the University of Pittsburgh and can talk about rituals in the grieving process as well as ways the United States has made a ritual of going to war. Contact 412-624-5977, 412-363-3363, clothey@pitt.edu.
• Rabbi Rebecca Alpert is an associate professor in the women’s studies program at Temple University in Philadelphia, Pa., and has written about Jewish perspectives on death and dying. Contact 215-204-1968, ralpert@nimbus.temple.edu.
• The Rev. Danielle Morris is executive director of Walking the Mourners Path, a nondenominational Christian bereavement training and grief support program in Winter Park, Fla. Their trained facilitators are in place in 28 states and are prepared to deal with grief over military dead, and a chaplain-facilitator is on his way to the Middle East. Contact Betsy Maxan, 407-599-4330, therevdanielle@cs.com.
• John Iskander is assistant professor in Islam and religious studies at Georgia State University. Contact 404-651-2277, jiskander@gsu.edu.
• Dr. Howard Winokuer is founder of the Winokuer Center for Counseling and Healing in Charlotte, N.C., and a member of the Association for Death Education and Counseling. Contact 704-333-5598.
• Robert Neimeyer is a psychology professor at the University of Memphis who is a member of the Association for Death Education and Counseling. Contact 901-678-4680.
• Ronald H. Nash is a professor at the Reformed Theological Seminary in Orlando, Fla., and has researched grief. Contact 407-875-8388, rnash@rts.edu.
• Dr. Mary Schild is a professor psychology who teaches a course in death and dying at Columbus State University in Columbus, Ga. Contact 706-565-3578, schild_mary@colstate.edu.
• Dr. Byron R. McCane is an associate professor ay Converse College in Spartanburg, S.C. who has written about Christian and Jewish perspectives on death and dying. Contact 864-596-9106, byron.mccane@converse.edu.
• Kathleen Flake is assistant professor of American religious history at Vanderbilt Divinity School in Nashville. She can comment on the uses of narrative and ritual in modern times. Contact 615-322-2776, kathleen.flake@vanderbilt.edu.
• The Rev. Lawrence Ventline is a Catholic priest and licensed psychotherapist assigned to the Archdiocese of Detroit. He regularly counsels people in grief and is setting up support groups for families mourning war dead. Contact 586-504-1779, lv5227@wideopenwest.com.
• Sister Mary Ellen McDonagh of the Eighth Day Center for Justice, an organization of Catholic religious communities, is one of a group of women who have kept a vigil every Tuesday morning since Sept. 11, 2001, in front of a federal building in Chicago. The vigil is intended to mourn all victims of violence. Contact her through the center, 312- 641-5151.
• Saba Mahmood is assistant professor of the history of religions at the University of Chicago’s Divinity School. She can talk about ritual and the politics of public religious discourse. Contact 773-702-8266, smahmood@midway.uchicago.edu.
• Dr Dennis Klass is a professor of religious studies at Webster University in St. Louis, Mo., and is co-editor of Continuing Bonds: New Understandings of Grief (Taylor and Francis, 1996). He teaches a course of death and dying. Contact 314-968-7135, klassde@webster.edu.
• Dr. Rob Pramann is executive director of the Shepherds Staff Christian Counseling Center in Sandy, Utah. Contact 801-561-9987, ext. 25.
• Howard Stone is professor of pastoral theology and pastoral counseling at Brite Divinity School at Texas Christian University in Fort Worth and the author of Depression and Hope (Fortress Press, 1998). Contact 817-257-7584, h.stone@tcu.edu.
• Chaplain G. William Bryan is an associate professor of pastoral ministries at Dallas Theological Seminary. He has 25 years of experience in pastoral ministry and specializes in the issues of bereavement and grief. Contact 214-841-3792, BBryan@DTS.edu.
• Dr. Michael C. Kearl is a professor of sociology and chair of the department of sociology and anthropology at Trinity University in San Antonio, Texas. He is the author on numerous books and death and dying, teaches a course on the sociology of death and dying, and maintains a vast website on the subject. Contact 210-999-8561, mkearl@trinity.edu.
• Dr Stanley Hall is an associate professor at Austin Presbyterian Theological Seminary in Austin, Texas, and has written about death rites and rituals. Contact 512-472-6736, shall@austinseminary.edu.
• Anne Brener is a Los Angeles area psychotherapist, leader of workshops on grieving and Judaism, and author of Mourning and Mitzvah: A Guided Journal for Walking the Mourner’s Path through Grief to Healing (Jewish Lights, 1993). Contact 323-857-0678, annebrener@aol.com.
• Rabbi Eric Weiss is executive director of the Bay Area Jewish Healing Center in San Francisco, Calif., which helps people cope with loss. Contact 415-750-4197, jewishhealing@mzhf.org.
• Jerome P. Baggett is assistant professor of religion and society at the Graduate Theological Union in Berkeley. His areas of expertise include Catholic parishes and civic participation, religion and cultural analysis, religion and politics in the United States and spirituality and the religious quest in modern America. Contact 510-549-5060, jbaggett@jstb.edu.
• Amir Hussain teaches a course in contemporary religious thought and death and dying at California State University, Northridge, in Northridge, Calif. Contact 818-677-2741, amir.hussain@csun.edu.
• Dr. Charles F. Keyes is a professor of anthropology and international studies at the University of Washington in Seattle, Wash. He is an expert on Buddhist attitutdes towards death and is currently researching Vietnamese attitudes toward and relationships to their war dead. Contact 206-685-1577, Keyes@u.washington.edu.
• Dr. Rebecca Moore is an assistant professor of religious studies at San Diego State University in California and teaches a course on death and dying. Contact 619-594-6252, remoore@mail.sdsu.edu.
Congregations and clergy
IN THE NORTHEAST
• The Rev. Dr. Jack Bremer is a retired United Methodist Church pastor in Burlington, Vt., and the executive director emeritus of the University Christian Ministry at Northwestern University. He can talk about how pastors, in a time of war, can both oppose military action and minister to military families. Contact jbremer@adelphia.net.
IN THE EAST
• The Rev. Dr. Robert C. Angus is a Presbyterian minister and a former Navy chaplain living in Washington, D.C. He says pastors who speak out against the war can minister effectively to families of war victims. Contact 202-237-1929, rcangus@earthlink.net.
• The Rev. Bob Edgar is general secretary of the National Council of Churches, an organization of 36 Protestant, Anglican and Orthodox denominations. He has both protested the Vietnam War and served on the Veterans Affairs Committee and says compassion is the key to opposing a war while supporting the warriors. Contact 212-870-2025, 917-821-0852 (cell), redgar@ncccusa.org.
• James Shopshire is a professor of the sociology of religion at Wesley Theological Seminary in Washington, D.C., and has taught a course on “Faith, Fervor, and the Flag: Social Responses Among Churches Since September 11.” Contact 202-885-8600.
• Elizabeth Vermilyea of The Sidran Traumatic Stress Institute in Maryland has co-taught a course on understanding trauma and trauma survivors in congregations. Contact 410-825-8888.
IN THE SOUTHEAST
• The Rev. Dr. Nancy Jo Kemper is executive director of the Kentucky Council of Churches, an ecumenical group of 11 Christian denominations. The KCC has put together a resource package and a call to prayer for clergy dealing with grieving families and a divided community. Contact 859-269-7715, njk@kycouncilofchurches.org.
• Gary Laderman is a professor of American religious history in the religion department at Emory University in Atlanta. He is the author of the book The Sacred Remains: American Attitudes Toward Death, 1799-1883 (Yale University Press, 1996) and Rest in Peace: A Cultural History of Death and the Funeral Home in 20th Century America (Oxford University Press, 2003). He says that if this war is short, it is unlikely there will be the kind of politicization of the dead that occurred in the Vietnam War. But if the war is lengthy and the toll mounts, the deaths could become the focus of arguments. He can also address the role that religion in funeral services plays in helping people heal. Contact 404-727-4641, gladerm@emory.edu.
• Dr. Charles Stanley is pastor of First Baptist Church in Atlanta and has written an article about the duties of Christians in time of war. Contact 770-451-1001.
IN THE SOUTH
• Bishop Thomas L. Hoyt Jr. of Shreveport, La., is president-elect of the National Council of Churches and is one of 46 Christian leaders who asked to meet with President Bush immediately before the war began. Contact 318-424-2980, thoytjr@aol.com.
• The Rev. Todd Brady is Southern Baptist minister at Union University in Jackson, Tenn., and has written about balancing patriotism with religious duties for the Baptist Press. Contact 731-661-5062, tbrady@uu.edu.
• The Rev. Fred Morris is executive director of the Florida Council of Churches and has spoken at several Florida anti-war rallies. Contact 407-839-3454.
• Dr. Gene Mims, vice president of LifeWay Church Resources of the Southern Baptist Convention in Nashville, Tenn., has written about how pastors can respond to congregants’ fears about the war. Contact 615-251-2000.
• The Rev. Tom Curry is pastor of Parkland Baptist Church in Louisville, Ky., and has served as a chaplain for the Air National Guard. He recently ministered to soldiers headed for the Middle East and can address the balance between patriotism and religious faith. Contact 502-969-1387.
IN THE MIDWEST
• Cindy Kennedy is the peace work organizer for the Minnesota Council of Churches in Minneapolis, Minn., and is compiling resources for clergy and church communities mourning the war dead. Contact 612-870-3600, ext. 38, Kennedyc@mnchurches.org.
• Bishop Richard B. Wilke is a retired bishop in the United Methodist Church and lives in Winfield, Kan. He was one of 46 religious leaders from the National Council of Churches who asked President Bush to meet with them before the war. A pastor for 40 years and a bishop for 12, he has marched in protest of the Vietnam War, the bombing of Cambodia and the current war against Iraq. He says it is no trouble for a pastor to put aside public policy when it comes to losing a church member and comforting families. Contact 620-221-0307.
• Dr. David Wulff is a professor of psychology at Wheaton College in Wheaton, Ill., and is the author of Psychology of Religion, Classic and Contemporary (John Wiley and Sons, 1997). Contact 508-286-3691.
• Corwin E. Smidt is a professor of political science at Calvin College in Grand Rapids, Mich. He is a contributor to Contemporary Evangelical Political Involvement (University Press of America, 1989). Contact 616-957-6233, smid@calvin.edu.
• The Rev. Paul Wilke is pastor of Woodlawn United Methodist Church in Derby, Kan. His 1,250 congregants parishioners are drawn from nearby McConnell Air Force Base and local Boeing aircraft factories. He says he is personally ambivalent about the war but ministers to people who support it on a daily basis. He says he intentionally separates his feelings about the conflict from the needs of his congregants. He has sent member military families letters of support and made phone calls to those with deployed family members to ensure that they know they are loved and welcome. Contact 316-788-1507, prwwumc@southwestbell.net.
• Rabbi Amy B. Bigman of Temple Israel in St. Louis, Mo., has written about Jewish funeral customs. Contact 314-432-8050.
IN THE SOUTHWEST
• Riverside Church of Christ in Coppell, Texas, adopted members of the Army’s 507th maintenance company, based at Fort Bliss in El Paso, which includes five of the American POWs in Iraq. A congregation member whose brother is part of the unit started an adopt-a-soldier program for the congregation. Contact minister Dr. Art McNeese, 972-462-8759.
• Contact the Rev. Jack Graham, president of the Southern Baptist Convention and pastor of the megachurch Prestonwood Baptist Church in Plano, Texas. Recent worship services there included the singing of God Bless America and the unfurling of a huge American flag. Contact 972-820-5000.
• John Loudat is communication director of the Baptist Convention of New Mexico and editor of Baptist New Mexican in Albuquerque, N.M. He has written for the Baptist Press about how Christians should remember God during times of war. Contact 505-924-2311, jloudat@bcnm.com.
• Dr. John Reed is senior professor emeritus of pastoral ministries and director of the Doctor of Ministry program at Dallas Theological Seminary. A former military chaplain, Dr. Reed has frequently counseled people during times of tragedy and loss. He is also a chaplain (Lt. Col., retired) in the United States Air Force Reserves and is a member of the National Guard Association of Texas. Contact 214-841-3666, JReed@DTS.edu.
IN THE WEST/NORTHWEST
• The Rev. Kelly Boggs is pastor of Valley Baptist Church in McMinnville, Ore., and has written about war protesters. Contact 503-472-8924.
• H. Newton Malony is a senior professor at the Graduate School of Psychology, Fuller Theological Seminary in Pasadena, Calif. He is an ordained pastor and a scholar of the psychology of religion. He has studied pastors and church members and is the author of The Psychology of Religion for Ministry (Paulist Press, 1995). Contact 909-625-9214, 626-584-5528, hnewtonm@yahoo.com.
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